Saturday night a friend and I went to see the Sex In The City movie. Don't worry, I won't ruin it for you. I've seen every single episode three times over and I have been dying to see the movie. I heard that Charlotte turns up pregnant and was a bit nervous about how they were going to do the whole thing. I say this because as a Mom who adopted I have heard over and over again the stories about people who adopt and then just get pregnant. You know, because they stopped thinking too hard or stopped trying all together. In some research that I have done I found that this happens about 6% of the time. How is it if it happens 6% of the time every human being I know has a story they want to share with me? So, Charlotte announces to Carrie that she is pregnant and I really was fine up until she has to literally pronounce the fable that everyone shoves at you. She basically mentions that her doctor said this happens all the time after a couple adopts and it's usually because they are relaxed and not thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this show but this really pissed me off. Not just because I have adopted but because I have dealt with infertility. How many of us have heard the "just relax" advice? I really felt insulted by them first giving her that happy ending and then making it seem so easy. I got pregnant spontaneously when Squirt was 5 months old, had crazy high betas and even saw a heartbeat but at my second u/s my baby was gone. So, as if 5 IVF cycles wasn't enough I had to endure this!! It was horrific, the D&C was horrific. Through all of it I kept asking, "Why?' After that I just felt like this movie shoved it in my face and the rest of our faces.
The other side of me reminds me to take all of this at face value and know that maybe the people who wrote the movie have not had IF enter their lives. Maybe I'm just a jealous, awful wretch who doesn't think what happened to me is fair. Regardless, it really struck a nerve. I do thank God every day for my daughter and know that all the failed IVFs led me to her. There still is a piece missing and it doesn't remove the emotional scarring I have from the road to get to her.
Overall, the movie was great and I think everyone should see it and enjoy a girl's night out.
Pit Stop
14 years ago
3 comments:
I totally agree about STC. I thought the same thing- whoever wrote it has never experienced it. I was pissed off at the storyline, and I've never adopted. Somewhere, you'd like to read or watch a happy ending that doesn't involve the person getting pregnant by miracle all on their own- as if that's the only happy ending that's truly happy. Just goes to show, people who haven't lived it can never understand.
OMG, I am SOOO with you on the whole "just relax" or "just adopt" crap. I got in a huge fight once with my MIL about it when she insisted that it happens all the time and I quoted her the same statistic that you did. It makes it sound like it's our fault and it's just stress, which is BS. Wow, I got all riled just reading that.
It takes a LOT of work for most of us who have adopted to ever achieve a pgcy. I am looking fwd to following you on your journey to success.
I was just rereading your posts and it looks like we're on the same timeline. I apparently don't have to wait for cycle day 1 like you b/c I hardly ever have a cycle, so I'm already wearing the patches and have the hysteroscopy scheduled! I agree, bad eggs should = good uterus, in a kind world! It's hard to have a positive outlook after everything though!
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