Bad day and Good day

Well, the day started out bad and ended pretty good. Here's the first half:



My adoption agency called me last night saying there was a 13 month old baby girl who was being placed and asked if I was interested in showing our profile. I said yes. She asked if I wanted to look at Medical Records, the Adoption Plan etc and I said No b/c I just didn't want to get my hopes up. I told her I would wait until the birth mom actually was interested in us. That night DH and I and some friends went to a Red Sox game and had a good time except for the fact that I couldn't pay attention or concentrate. Now, all of you who have been reading this blog know the disdain I have for my agency. It's been two years and no baby. We have had two failures and lost about $6000 not to mention the non refundable fees we have paid them. All in all we have been shown to 27, YES 27 birth mothers and we have nothing to show for it. I don't want to toot my own horn but we are a nice looking, middle class family with the house, the pool, the big yard, good jobs you name it. I don't have warts on my nose or horns coming out of my head and if I must say it, DH is damn handsome. How could 27 women turn us down? Anyway, DH says to me last night, "If we get picked you need to really think about what you want. Is it a pregnancy or another child? I don't think we can do both." It really got me thinking and it always came back to the exact reason we are going down the DE road. I need to fulfill or at least try to fulfill this void I have in me.

I emailed the agency when I got in to work asking for any updates. Basically the BM had two top couples and we weren't one of them. Then the "agency" went into this long winded pile of shit about putting it up to a higher being and praying. Ok, then I got pissed. As the mother of an adopted child I know about the higher power and what is meant to be will be. I live every day thanking God and everyone else in this world and spiritual plane for my daughter. I KNOW she came to us because all things that were supposed to line up for us did at an exact moment. Not a second goes by that I don't marvel at her. I'm this way because I fought long and hard and endured IVF torture to bring her to me. It's a badge of honor I wear every day. The agency doesn't need to school me in this. They need to do their f-ing job! I told them that putting it up to a higher power wasn't good enough any more. They need to start talking to the birth mothers that have turned us down and find out why b/c they can't give me an explanation. They say it baffles them too. Whatever- stop taking my money and do what you are supposed to do. I was so mad I was nearly in tears!!!!!

(As an aside, when I start the DE cycle I am telling the agency to put our profile on hold until I know how the cycle turns out. As if it will even matter.)



Not an hour later I got an email from my donor coordinator. My donor had her retrieval today for the couple she is cycling with now. They got 28 eggs!!!!!!!!!!! 28!!!!

Holy Crap!



I was/am very excited to hear this and will hear more when the Fert Report comes in. I guess my higher power sent me a message... What a day!!!!!!



Danielle