Beta is less than 5. Follow up on 11/14 at 3pm. I never, ever thought I would be here. I guess I figured I should have known that I would fall on the bad side of the statistics. How could I have been so naive as to think that this would actually work for me? I might as well have used my own eggs for all this was worth. I am just so devastated.
I know I have Squirt and I thank God for her but she isn't a consolation prize. Why shouldn't I be able to have more? Why shouldn't I just be able to get a break when it comes to my body? I just feel so broken. I feel as though I am going to have to forever walk this earth with a giant hole in my heart that will never be filled. I am so, so angry and tired and just empty.
We still have 5 grade 1 and 2 frozens left (8 cell) but the success rate is lower for an FET than a fresh so I could just be facing more and more failure. DH told me that he would actually rather not do anything b/c every time we get a negative result another piece of me breaks off. God I am such a huge failure as a woman.
Pit Stop
14 years ago
13 comments:
I am so very sorry. I can't believe it either. I guess someone has to be on the wrong side of he stats. It's too early to think about next step. (But I have seen FET work after a negative fresh cycle...really...it does happen).
I'm so sorry.
I am so very, very sorry.
Please take some time to heal yourself. You are not a failure as a woman at all.
(((hugs)))
I'm so, terribly sorry. It's hurts so much more when you're in our position because we can't just try again next month. But in reality, circumstances can be perfect and it still doesn't work. It most definitely doesn't mean that it's your fault, or that you're broken. Not a failure. Please don't do that to yourself.
Don't write your FET's off as a waste of time. They're of excellent quality and they're not going anywhere. Take time off for you and your family, decide what to do when you're ready.
Hugs to you and your family....thinking of you.
Oh D... I'm truly sorry and my heart goes out to you. Please just take care of yourself right now and do what you need to do before you move forward with the FET. There are MANY women who have success with the FET, so please don't discount it.
Please try to continue to have hope, which I know is hard right now, but God is with you each step of the way and is there to "hold you near, " especially now when you need Him the most.
Much love and many hugs and prayers,
Jojobee
Dcat, Can't begin to say how sorry I am to hear your news. You are anything but a failure. You are a brave woman for going through all you have gone through. I want to send my hugs to you and say sorry I have been so lame lately about keeping up with all things computer but I have made sure to pop in now and then and check on how you are doing.
Much love sent your way.
Kim
I just can't believe it. I am soo sorry. I am crying for you right now. It just doesn't seem fair. You need to take of you right now. Don't make any decisions until you are in a better place. This will take time. One quote that helped me when I was so down with finding out I'd never be able to have kids on my own was "This, too, shall pass." It's just so painful and raw. You are such a strong person for going through everything you have- I know there's nothing I can say that will make you feel better because right now you are probably going between being in so much pain and just being really pissed off. You deserve this and some way or another, you will get to complete your family. Please let me know if there's anything I can do!
Oh please don't think that. You are no failure! You have done everything in your power. I wish I could help, make it all better some how for you. I am very sorry. Also I do know people at my clinic who have gotten pregnant off of FET but it's understandable if you don't want to go through any more. (((hugs and love to you)))
Dcat - so sorry about your cycle. You are not a failure - do not go there. Squirt is a blessing and so is your DH, and time will help some with the pain. I am thinking of you and your family.
BEYOND STINKS! But FET's work ALL THE TIME, truly they do.
Do whatever works for you - if you need time, take it. But there is nothing wrong with getting indignant and saying, I'm going to do a FET ASAP and get pregnant already! It WILL happen!
How are you doing?
I am so sorry. I know there is nothing anyone can offer to make it better. But be kind to yourself. This is such a difficult process. Hugs to you! Daisy
I just wanted to check in to see how you're doing... I hope and pray that you're doing ok... Many prayers...
I am very sorry. You are not a failure although I understand those feelings. Even if your clinic had 80% success rate with DE - 20% are still unlucky. It could be as simple as that and no reflection on you.
I know that probably doesn't help. Right now all you feel is what you don't have. Take some time to heal as DE Mommy said. My thoughts are with you.
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