Family of three?

As the three of us were sitting on the floor tonight playing CandyLand I had a very honest thought: I would be totally OK with a family of three. Ugh-I almost wrote that I would be OK with just the three of us. That is tragic that I would even think of using the word just. It's not just the three of us. After everything that we have been through how could I say something like that? Believe me, I have not forgotten what it took us to get to this place. I read so many blogs and message boards where women are struggling for their just one and I remember how terrible of a place it is. I remember it every time a birth mother looks at our profile and chooses another family. It's helpless and you have completely no control. Anyhow, I digress.

The older Squirt gets the more having an only child becomes an easier adjustment. Of course, I should mention that earlier I was day dreaming about me actually being pregnant and how amazing that would be. I'm not quite ready to give up on that dream. Truth is, I love being a parent. I just love it. If fertility wasn't a question I think Handsome and I would have at least four children. It's the hardest yet most rewarding job ever. My point is that if DE doesn't work we're done. I'm going to tell the adoption agency to go f*%k themselves and we'll close the door knowing we did everything we possibly could. Then we'll be three and we'll be happy being three but not until we've exhausted all our efforts.