Let's try this again

Well, I guess I'll try this blogging again. I have been feeling like I really need some sort of outlet and support for this next journey. Handsome (DH) and I are ready to take some more agressive steps to completing our family. The quest for Squirt #2 started with going the adoption route. Now, almost 2 years and 2 failures later we are no where further than when we started. To tell you the truth I despise the agency we went with. If we had to do it all over again with what we know now we surely would not have gone with them. If we did it all over again without any knowledge we probably would have still gone with them. I just feel so much regret that I have virtually lost two years of time with those idiots...not counting $$$. Ugh.
So, after some discussion Handsome and I went to visit the Fertility Center again after 3 years of not having to go there. I never thought I would go back but I guess you never know what the future holds. It was tough. I guess I had some crazy expectation that the RE was going to tell me that we should give it another go with my eggs. Fat chance. Sitting there in his office looking at my 6 inch thick medical record really made me sick. How could I have endured all of that? Even after it all, it never killed my spirit. To think I went back looking for more. I must be a total lunatic.
Long story short we are perfect candidates for DE. I'm youngish- 34 and Handsome is 35 with great swimmers. If it wern't for my rotten eggs one of my 5 IVF cycles may have worked. Nonetheless I realized that aside from the fact that I love being a mother to my precious Squirt, I need to at least try to carry a baby. It's the one thing that has always been missing.
So, we picked a donor and she will be ready to cycle at the end of July. I hope to detail my journey as the rest of you are doing and maybe provide some insight and hope for others dealing with just this.



Dcat